Memorial Stones

Today marks the anniversary of my dad’s death. Three years. Last night, I spent some time reading over a post that I wrote a couple of weeks after he died. While reading it, I was reminded of some of the small details that I had forgotten. I’m so glad I wrote it back then because it truly has served its purpose as a Memorial Stone for me to remember all the ways the Lord showed me grace back then and how He continues to now. I wanted to re-post it today as an encouragement for myself but also perhaps for some of you…

Memorial Stones

Yesterday, the Lord brought the story of Joshua and the nation of Israel to my mind (it had to be the Lord, how often do I think about that story?). In Joshua chapter 4, it specifically talks about memorial stones.

“After the entire nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord spoke to Joshua: “Choose 12 men from the people, one man for each tribe, and command them: Take 12 stones from this place in the middle of the Jordan where the priests are standing, carry them with you, and set them down at the place where you spend the night.”

So Joshua summoned the 12 men he had selected from the Israelites, one man for each tribe, and said to them, “Go across to the ark of the Lord your God in the middle of the Jordan. Each of you lift a stone onto his shoulder, one for each of the Israelite tribes, so that this will be a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’  You should tell them, ‘The waters of the Jordan were cut off in front of the ark of the Lord’s covenant. When it crossed the Jordan, the Jordan’s waters were cut off.’ Therefore these stones will always be a memorial for the Israelites.””

I’ve been so incredibly thankful for the Lord’s goodness and graciousness during the last two weeks and it’s something I don’t want to forget. I want to make my own “memorial stones” to remember specific instances, so I can look back and see exactly how the Lord was so good to me and my family during such a difficult time.

Memorial Stones

– I think the stone that is the base for all the other stones, has to be what a gracious God we love and follow; to have sent his own Son to die once and for all so that, “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” There is no doubt that my dad is with the Lord and that means everything. How thankful I’ve been to not be a part of a religion dependent on works for eternal life but rather trusting and accepting the gift of the One who already paid it all.

-I got sick while my mom was in Colorado visiting family, so she left a day early to come to Tulsa to help me. She arrived the night before we found out about my dad. We were all so thankful that she made the 13 hour trip to Tulsa, before finding out the news.

-It was also God’s grace that she was scheduled to be in Tulsa for a week and had some distance from all that was going on at her home.

-God’s timing was perfect that I didn’t deliver on “my due date” which was two weeks early like I did with the boys. Delivering a week later gave us much needed time together, to cry, grieve, process, and talk.

-The gift of family- in which my mom has three daughters, three sons-in-law, and grandchildren which adore her and want to see her and take care of her.

-One of the greatest and most powerful gifts the Lord has given us is the incredible body of believers who have supported us. They are composed of old friends, new friends, childhood friends I haven’t talked to in years, family, extended family, old church friends, all who have continually held us up in prayer and encouragement over the last two weeks.

-The Lord has given us life – a new life and such joy in bringing us our little Samantha. I simply can’t be thankful enough for the enormous grace God gave me through labor and delivery. From first contraction to seeing little Samantha was less than 4 hours. Two sets of pushes and we got to hear, ”Surprise! It’s a girl!!!”

 

-She was healthy, ate like a champ from the very beginning. In retrospect it was good she came at 39 weeks and not 38, since she was 6lbs, 12oz. Then there’s me, I was walking around just hours after delivery, I haven’t had any stomach issues like I did after the boys were born, and nursing has gone much better than before. I can just see grace, poured over grace, and then more grace, in all these things.

-The boys have adjusted well. Even with a crazy schedule and mom and dad staying in the hospital with Samantha, twice.

-The Lord’s gift in sending us to this residency program. Everyone has bent over backwards to encourage us, make us meals, tell us they are praying for us, and give Emanuel time off.

-My friend and I were talking this morning about grace given in the midst of grace denied. We (and many others) were praying for a safe and easy drive to Ohio, knowing it may have been difficult with me having just given birth, a newborn, and two toddlers. While the Lord denied our trip entirely, and denied us attending the funeral. He gave incredible grace in that Samantha’s fever spiked hours before we were going to leave. We weren’t 6 hours into the trip, we weren’t at my family’s house which is two hours from the nearest children’s hospital, we were right here, where we know our pediatrician and the children’s hospital is a few miles away. She received great medical care, was diagnosed quickly (with Viral Meningitis) and had a quicker than normal turn around. Praise the Lord, less than a week later she is completely healthy.

-Seven years ago while Emanuel gave me a rock to put on my finger the Lord placed a rock in my life through him as a husband. The day we found out about my dad, he immediately drove home and sat with my mom and me, as we cried. He listened, held me, and took the boys out so my mom and I could talk more. He’s been amazing through everything. Literally every day the last two weeks I’ve thought, “Oh Lord, I can’t believe I got to marry this man, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

My brother-in-law always used to say to me, “Don’t doubt in the darkness what you know to be true in the light”. So the last two weeks I have asked, “What do I know to be true in the light?” For me, the logical answer has been literally listing all the good things the Lord has given us. Through doing this, I can see that, even though this is and has been the most difficult time in my life so far, the grace the Lord has poured over my life has been so abundantly evident.