Quiet Time Bins

A few years ago, my oldest stopped taking afternoon naps…and there were great sobs and gnashing of teeth…from me. Afternoon nap time is sacred around here, so I had to do something fast. Then, I saw an idea for quiet time bins.

Bam.

My life afternoons were saved.

At the time, my son was in preschool and I had become aware of some things that I totally didn’t teach him. For example, using scissors and learning how to cut (oops, I guess that’s important?!).  So, I figured the quiet time bins would also be a good time to introduce a few things, work on some fine motor skills, and still give him some time for imaginative play.

So, I went out and bought five plastic bins. I figured we would have a bin for Monday through Friday and then on the weekends he could choose whichever bin he wanted. I used mostly items that we already owned (but didn’t necessarily play with often) and then I bought a few things to fill in the sparser bins.

It was awesome. Just like that, nap time for me my other kids was restored to it’s former glory.

Fast forward a few years. My oldest is off to school and I have three little ones at home. Thankfully, they all still take afternoon naps…thank you Jesus. So now, I have changed the way I use the quiet time bins.

When the kids are each quietly reading chapter books in their corners, taking turns sewing their own sweaters, and on their knees dusting baseboards, I don’t need quiet time bins.

But, oh wait… that has NEVER happened.

More realistically,

When my kids have asked me 22 billion times for a snack, have argued for five minutes straight over who had the Paw Patrol toy first, and have turned the walkie talkies on max volume in order to drive their mother crazy press that button that makes the most annoying sound in the world…

THAT

Is when I bust out the quiet time bins.

One for each kid.

I send them to different rooms in the house.

And for a few minutes…it’s quiet-ish.

So, let me give you an idea of what I put in the bins. I included the Amazon links because if you are like me, you would probably give up your left kidney to continue another year of Prime. Just kidding…kinda.

Each bin has a few newer books and a few older books that have been out of our rotation for a while.

Here are some other things in our bins… (Note 3 out of 4 of my kids are boys, hence more boy ideas. However, once on Amazon, scroll down on each item for similar girl items)

–Wow Water Vehicles Coloring Book – My kids love these things. They are so simple and mess free! They are also really great for traveling on long road trips.

–Wood beads and a shoe lace. – I tie a knot on the end of the shoelace and they put the beads on one by one. So simple. So time consuming…in the best possible way!

-Kid Scissors (buy them anywhere) – My oldest LOVED cutting. I just drew shapes and different length lines on a scrap of paper and he would go to town! Literally, he would spend 15 minutes just cutting up a paper like this…

–Magnetic Fishing puzzle – All my kids have loved this puzzle/fishing game. There’s also a tow truck/cars puzzle that is similar.

–Dry Erase Activity Tablet – This is a pretty sweet book with mazes and other numbers and letters activities. Scroll down for more options once on Amazon.

–Dinosaur Stamp Set – All kids are super into stamps right now…

–Vehicles puzzles Set – My kids haven’t loved puzzles until I got this set. 

–Magnetic “Joey” Set – We had this for over a year and my kids never really played with it until I put it in a quiet time bin, now it’s a favorite. There is also a “Julia” and “Maggie” set.

–Lace and Trace Pets – Fine motor skills anyone?

–Jungle Animals – Any small figurines would work, pick some up at your local thrift store!

–Let’s Build – This is the magnetic book we have and they love it but click HERE for a bunch more

–Lego/Duplos set – I put this set in a zip lock bag so they can get to it easier. Obviously, there are a million sets our there.

So those are a few ideas and some things you probably already have! So do you want my opinion? Yes? Oh good.

I would NOT go and buy all of this stuff. If I were you, I would go though your existing toy bins, your existing puzzles, your existing craft supplies, your existing bookshelves, and see what will work. In fact, you don’t even have to run out and get bins. You could totally use plastic bags. Quiet Time Bags. Yes. That sounds great to me.

If after you have gone through all your stuff and you still feel like you need a few things, then put them on a list for your next kids birthday, or get one or two things. But most of us, Do Not Need To Bring More Stuff in our homes. Am I right? Yes, yes I am. 

Alright friends…Go and search for some quiet! Good luck and God speed!

 

(Quiet Time Bin picture created at snappa.io)

When My Mind Wanders Down Worry Road…

For the last month, I’ve been working on a master prayer list for each of my four kiddos. I got the idea from the book, “The Power of a Praying Parent.” In the book, each chapter deals with a specific area in your child’s life.

This morning, I was reading through a chapter on rejecting sexual immortality and it felt heavy. I felt the weight of raising our kids in a world where they are constantly bombarded with sex. It’s in front of their eyes (and ours) at every turn, on billboards, tv, in song lyrics, not to mention smart phones.

As I was reading, my mind began to wander down a road of all the “what if’s” for my kid’s futures…

“I have three boys, are they going to be addicted to porn? Or my girl? What about when they have a boyfriend or girlfriend in school? It was hard when I was a kid and we didn’t have kids sexting then or kids sending nude photos back and forth! Will they be able to wait until they are married to have sex? What can I do to stop all this? I need to start having conversations about this all the time! I need to make sure they don’t have smart phone until they are 35 years old!”

My mind would have gone on like this for quite a while if the Holy Spirit hadn’t stopped me. All the sudden, in the middle of my cascading questions and worries, I remembered a thought from a book I’ve been reading. It was something close to…

We are not responsible to produce faith in another person’s heart.

I hadn’t even been specifically thinking about that, but that thought was all it took for me to remember Who is in control of all things…and who is Not. Who knows when my kids sit and when they rise. Who is acquainted with all their ways far better than I ever will be.

I needed the reminder that when it comes to my children, it is not my responsibility (or weight to carry) to save them or to convince them to walk in the ways of the Lord. In fact, it’s prideful to think that I can!

That is ALL God.

Sure, I am responsible to share God’s truth with my kids, love them well, show them how to follow Christ by modeling it, and pray for them.

But I am not responsible to produce faith in them.

But that’s hard having no control over that, isn’t it?! We love our kids so much and we truly want what is best for them. So much so, that we overstep and try to do our job AND God’s job! We try to bear the weight of their future and with that brings hovering, ulcer-ridden, haggard parents.

But God is not asking us to bear that weight. In fact, He’s doing the opposite, He’s telling us to leave the weight with Him.

He shows us this perfectly in 1 Peter 5:7. Peter says to “cast your cares upon Him, for he cares for you.” The Greek word used for “casting” is only used one other time in this exact way. It’s in Luke 19:35 when Jesus is going to ride the donkey into Jerusalem and his disciples “cast” or “place upon” the donkey their cloaks. Rather than carrying them, the donkey carries the load.

What a beautiful picture!

We are not meant to carry these burdens, fears, and anxieties concerning our children. We are not meant to try and control their futures. Peter is saying, (well actually he’s commanding) his readers, to let Jesus be the load bearer. Only He can handle it.

However, this doesn’t mean we can just checkout. This doesn’t leave us useless parents. There’s a lot we can do in the lives of our kids! To name a few…

-We can fervently pray that according to God’s great mercy He will cause our kids to be born again to a living hope (1 Peter 1:3).

-We can pray that they will walk by the Spirit, not following the desires of their flesh nature (Galatians 5:16).

-We can teach our kids the truth that God is kind and long-suffering. He isn’t willing that any should perish (2 Peter 3:9).

-We can understand that it is precisely God’s kindness that brings anyone to repentance. It’s His kindness that will draw our kids in and make them want to run to Him instead of worldly pleasures. (Romans 2:4).

There is a lot we can and should do and Peter gives us even more…

In the same verse, Peter doesn’t end his train of thought with the command to cast our burdens, he ends it with a promise. “…because He cares for you.”

In other words, the way to practically take our anxieties concerning our children, and transfer them from our back to God’s back, is to trust that He cares for us and He cares for our kids even more than we do! We have to believe this promise…and when that’s really really hard, then we ask him to help our unbelief!

We can do all of this through prayer.

John Piper says, “Prayer is trust turned toward God and spoken.”

It’s turning our minds away from the road of worry that it wants to run down and turning it towards trust in God through verbally pouring our hearts out before Him.

The apostle Paul takes this one step farther and describes the peace of God and guarded hearts and minds we receive when we pour out our requests before the Lord.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God which passes all comprehension will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6

What freedom there is when we relinquish our (perceived) control over our kid’s lives! What mercy we receive through Christ bearing our burden, first, on the cross, and then in our daily concerns.

I forget all this too quickly, but I’m so thankful for these daily reminders from the Spirit.

 

(picture from bigstock.com)

Chores…the answer to all my problems?

When my oldest was about six months old I remember reading an article about kids doing chores. Wait! Let’s just stop there for a minute, I was knee high in stinky diapers and baby food, why did I stop and read that article?

Oh I remember, it was my first kiddo and I had expectations through the roof, I was probably imagining him dusting baseboards by his first birthday. Ha!

I forgot about the article, 6 years went by, three more kiddos made their appearances, and we still hadn’t done anything much in the realm of chores. Sure, My Hubs and I had general expectations for the kids making their beds and such, but nothing official.

Then about four months ago, somewhere in the back cobwebs of my mind, I remembered the gist of the chores article that I had read so many years ago. It was basically giving chores as the answer to most parenting and children issues.

It went something to the effect of…

      Children disobeying?     …..The answer is chores.

      Children fighting with each other?      …..More chores.

      Children bored?      ……Chor-didi-chore-chores.

      Children using inappropriate language?      …..Did I mention the “C” word?!”

Doesn’t that sounds great? I kinda wanted chores to solve all my problems!

If only the list would have added,

      Children waking up super early?       …..Chores.

      Children having daily diaper blowouts?    …..more chores.

Okay, I guess chores weren’t going to solve ALL my problems. But if all I got out of it was a little more cleanliness around here, and something to keep the kids busy for a bit, I was game.

Now, because I got pretty excited about jumping on the chore train, I probably spent a little too much time online reading articles about kids and chores. But after all the reading, I figured I just needed to do what would work for our family. So I’m going to tell you what I did and maybe it will be helpful to some of you!

First, I made a list of the most important jobs that need to get done around our house.

I don’t really care if my 6 year old can clean the coffee maker like a pro, I’d rather he help me with the mountain in the middle of our house named “laundry.” So, I made a small list of what would be truly helpful.

Next, I listed specific chores that I thought were realistic and age appropriate for each of my kiddos (the baby just missed the age cutoff so he wasn’t included, ha.).

In case you didn’t catch that, the key word being realistic.

Could my four year old dust the top of the fan blades if I held onto his legs and stood at the foot of the ladder? Uh probably, but do I really want him or need him to do that?

A resounding, “No.”

But would it be easy and helpful for him to put all the dishes on the counter after a meal and then wipe the table down with a wash cloth?

A resounding, “Yes!”

I found these two lists and they were super very helpful…

And this one from modestmom.com…

After I made my list for each kid, I went online to look for chore charts. There are a gazillion out there. There are ones that you can print out, ideas for making your own, or some you can just buy online.

Since I had high hopes for chores changing our lives and lasting for years, I chose to invest in a chore chart that I thought would last us awhile AND that my kids would get excited about. After all, I figured if this whole chore thing was going to happen, it would be SO much easier if they caught the chore fever too! (also, I am craft challenged, so there’s that)

Soooooo, I got this one off of Etsy.

And I love it. And they LOVE IT. (Disclaimer: my kids are still young enough to get excited about basically anything that I get excited about).

They love it because it’s on the side of the fridge and they can easily see their chores each morning and they love it even more when they get a check mark next to their completed chores!

Since I have four kiddos, I got a chart with four names. However, since the baby juuuuust missed the height requirement for vacuuming (there I go again joking about putting the baby to work),  I  covered up his name with a piece of tape that says “Everyone.” This was easier because there are some things that all of the kiddos do each day, like making their beds. Thus, they have “everyone” chores and then individual chores.

I liked this chart because it included many of the chores that I had put on my list for each kiddo and it also came with blank tiles so that I could just add my own if it didn’t include ones that I wanted to use.

Right now, we give my 6 year old and 4 year , three individual chores a day and then two to three “everyone” chores. We started with less but they loved it and finished quickly, so we added a few more. (Side note – these chores DO NOT take them all day, almost all of them take less than 5 minutes each).

My two year old, really loves to help as well, but she gets distracted easily and is in and out all the time, so she just gets one individual chore a day, usually, “pick up toys” or “get the mail.”

Rewards

The next morning, assuming the kiddos finished all their chores, they get to put a sticker on the reward chart (which is the highlight of their morning because they get to pick the sticker).

I use this reward chart. I print it out in black and white (ink is expensive!) and you can find it here along with many other charts…

(I cross out the words “Goal” and write in my kids names)

Even though there are only ten stars to fill, it usually takes about two weeks for them to earn a reward. We don’t do chores on Sunday and sometimes we are busy and miss a day here and there.

My Hubs and I decided the kid’s rewards would be family activities that we all do together. This works wonderfully for us because there are so many special things that we would love to do for our kids but that if we said “yes” to all the time, would probably result in four bratty children.

For example, we have a zoo membership. We go to the zoo a couple times a month. There are two things our kids want every time we go to the zoo. They want dip and dots ice cream and they want to take the pirate boat ride. We bought ice cream once and we haven’t done the boat ride. Why haven’t we taken the boat ride? Because the boat ride is a perfect chore reward! It is something we would actually love to do with them, but we aren’t about to start dishing out an extra $4 a person every time we go to the zoo for a boat ride! However, if they work for two weeks to earn their boat ride then, “Yes!” we are ALL ABOUT the Pirate boat ride.

There are endless family activities that our kids would love to do, so it isn’t hard for them to come up with and agree on, their reward. Although, I do give them two or three suggestions.

A few rewards that we have done together are ice skating…

(Clearly we were all super comfortable on the ice)

We also went and ate ice cream at the park, and so far the biggest reward for them was going to a movie theater for the first time!

(Another side note – these family activities don’t have to break the bank! The ice skating cost $12 total, ice cream at the park was under $10, and we went to a movie theater that had free kids movies one Saturday morning and discounted snacks, so we paid $10 total for popcorn, drinks, and fruit snacks! It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money to be fun!)

Training them up

Sooooo, it didn’t take long for the kids to find out what chores they really like to do and which ones they’d rather avoid. It also didn’t take me long me to see who is good at doing what!

My 6 year old is so bad at dusting. So. Bad. But my 4 year old is awesome at it. My 4 year old is so bad at sorting the silverware. But my 6 year old is stellar at it.

So, I keep that in mind when I assign the chores in the morning before they wake up. They still end up doing all the jobs at some point, but they repeat the ones they enjoy more often.

After all, I’m not Cinderella’s evil stepmother here! My goal is not to rest on the couch and watch them tirelessly clean the entire house and then have them feed me grapes one by one after they finish! No, I just want them to learn some responsibility, realize they are part of a family that helps each other, and last I want to teach them HOW to clean.

Did you know that some kids (and adults) don’t actually know how to clean? That’s because you have to be taught! Which brings me to my next point.

How I teach my kids to do chores…or learn just about anything new.

This IS NOT rocket science, it’s just four easy steps I keep in mind when teaching my kids any new skill…

It’s pretty self-explanatory, but just to leave you without any doubts, I will give you an example.

So, let’s say I am going to teach my 4 year old son how to wipe down the kitchen table after a meal.

First, I do it 100% for him. He watches me wipe down the table while I explain what I’m doing. “See buddy, how I put my hand flat on the washcloth and move it back and forth making sure to get all the parts of the table.”

Second, we do it together and I correct anything. “Well buddy, that was a great start but you missed that entire corner over there and see how I put my hand flat on it? That will make it faster and easier for you. Now repeat after me, “wax on, wax off”” (perhaps he will be a karate master after our chore training…or more likely be confused at my movie references that came out waaaaay before he was born. But we’re fine either way).

Third, I watch him do it by himself. “Great job so far! Just finish that spot and you got it!”

Fourth, after I watch him do it a few times and I think he’s more or less got a handle on that skill, then he can do it independently.

Woohoo! I just referenced my four year old and the word “independently” in the same sentence!

Soooo, that’s it. That’s the process we’ve been using and it’s been working well for us.

But the question still remains, “Have chores been the answer to all my problems?”

And my answer?

I wish! No, it hasn’t stopped blowout diapers, two year old tantrums, or picky eaters.

However, I could easily list ten awesome things that it HAS done! But for the sake of your eyeballs I will just list three.

Three benefits from doing family chores…

1. The saying, “Many hands make light work” is really true. Having our kiddos share in the work has definitely lightened the load for My Hubs and me. Hallelujah! …we could stop the list right there! No, but seriously we could. But fine, I will keep going.

2. My kids have definitely learned some skills. They are much better dusters, sweepers, book put awayers, and clothes separators now than they were six months ago.

3. They now understand that extra awesome feeling that you get when you get to do something fun because you’ve worked hard for several weeks and earned it.

Perhaps, in the future it will lead to more than this, but for right now, I’m just happy I can see the floor in the playroom a little more often!

So, I’d love to hear from you! Do you have a chore system? Has it worked for our family? What has worked well and what hasn’t?

Memorial Stones

Today marks the anniversary of my dad’s death. Three years. Last night, I spent some time reading over a post that I wrote a couple of weeks after he died. While reading it, I was reminded of some of the small details that I had forgotten. I’m so glad I wrote it back then because it truly has served its purpose as a Memorial Stone for me to remember all the ways the Lord showed me grace back then and how He continues to now. I wanted to re-post it today as an encouragement for myself but also perhaps for some of you…

Memorial Stones

Yesterday, the Lord brought the story of Joshua and the nation of Israel to my mind (it had to be the Lord, how often do I think about that story?). In Joshua chapter 4, it specifically talks about memorial stones.

“After the entire nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord spoke to Joshua: “Choose 12 men from the people, one man for each tribe, and command them: Take 12 stones from this place in the middle of the Jordan where the priests are standing, carry them with you, and set them down at the place where you spend the night.”

So Joshua summoned the 12 men he had selected from the Israelites, one man for each tribe, and said to them, “Go across to the ark of the Lord your God in the middle of the Jordan. Each of you lift a stone onto his shoulder, one for each of the Israelite tribes, so that this will be a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’  You should tell them, ‘The waters of the Jordan were cut off in front of the ark of the Lord’s covenant. When it crossed the Jordan, the Jordan’s waters were cut off.’ Therefore these stones will always be a memorial for the Israelites.””

I’ve been so incredibly thankful for the Lord’s goodness and graciousness during the last two weeks and it’s something I don’t want to forget. I want to make my own “memorial stones” to remember specific instances, so I can look back and see exactly how the Lord was so good to me and my family during such a difficult time.

Memorial Stones

– I think the stone that is the base for all the other stones, has to be what a gracious God we love and follow; to have sent his own Son to die once and for all so that, “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” There is no doubt that my dad is with the Lord and that means everything. How thankful I’ve been to not be a part of a religion dependent on works for eternal life but rather trusting and accepting the gift of the One who already paid it all.

-I got sick while my mom was in Colorado visiting family, so she left a day early to come to Tulsa to help me. She arrived the night before we found out about my dad. We were all so thankful that she made the 13 hour trip to Tulsa, before finding out the news.

-It was also God’s grace that she was scheduled to be in Tulsa for a week and had some distance from all that was going on at her home.

-God’s timing was perfect that I didn’t deliver on “my due date” which was two weeks early like I did with the boys. Delivering a week later gave us much needed time together, to cry, grieve, process, and talk.

-The gift of family- in which my mom has three daughters, three sons-in-law, and grandchildren which adore her and want to see her and take care of her.

-One of the greatest and most powerful gifts the Lord has given us is the incredible body of believers who have supported us. They are composed of old friends, new friends, childhood friends I haven’t talked to in years, family, extended family, old church friends, all who have continually held us up in prayer and encouragement over the last two weeks.

-The Lord has given us life – a new life and such joy in bringing us our little Samantha. I simply can’t be thankful enough for the enormous grace God gave me through labor and delivery. From first contraction to seeing little Samantha was less than 4 hours. Two sets of pushes and we got to hear, ”Surprise! It’s a girl!!!”

 

-She was healthy, ate like a champ from the very beginning. In retrospect it was good she came at 39 weeks and not 38, since she was 6lbs, 12oz. Then there’s me, I was walking around just hours after delivery, I haven’t had any stomach issues like I did after the boys were born, and nursing has gone much better than before. I can just see grace, poured over grace, and then more grace, in all these things.

-The boys have adjusted well. Even with a crazy schedule and mom and dad staying in the hospital with Samantha, twice.

-The Lord’s gift in sending us to this residency program. Everyone has bent over backwards to encourage us, make us meals, tell us they are praying for us, and give Emanuel time off.

-My friend and I were talking this morning about grace given in the midst of grace denied. We (and many others) were praying for a safe and easy drive to Ohio, knowing it may have been difficult with me having just given birth, a newborn, and two toddlers. While the Lord denied our trip entirely, and denied us attending the funeral. He gave incredible grace in that Samantha’s fever spiked hours before we were going to leave. We weren’t 6 hours into the trip, we weren’t at my family’s house which is two hours from the nearest children’s hospital, we were right here, where we know our pediatrician and the children’s hospital is a few miles away. She received great medical care, was diagnosed quickly (with Viral Meningitis) and had a quicker than normal turn around. Praise the Lord, less than a week later she is completely healthy.

-Seven years ago while Emanuel gave me a rock to put on my finger the Lord placed a rock in my life through him as a husband. The day we found out about my dad, he immediately drove home and sat with my mom and me, as we cried. He listened, held me, and took the boys out so my mom and I could talk more. He’s been amazing through everything. Literally every day the last two weeks I’ve thought, “Oh Lord, I can’t believe I got to marry this man, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

My brother-in-law always used to say to me, “Don’t doubt in the darkness what you know to be true in the light”. So the last two weeks I have asked, “What do I know to be true in the light?” For me, the logical answer has been literally listing all the good things the Lord has given us. Through doing this, I can see that, even though this is and has been the most difficult time in my life so far, the grace the Lord has poured over my life has been so abundantly evident.

Quick Life Update

A few different people have asked me recently if I’m ever going to post on my blog again. To which I replied,

“Blog? What blog?”

I guess that digging myself out from under moving boxes and trying to homeschool the youngins, shoved me right off the ole’ blog train.

BUT…

I can tell in the last week or so that I might be ready to resurface…reply to a few emails and texts, have some people over for play dates, and write a blog post or two.

So, for all you wondering (and those who aren’t, but for some reason continue to read on…), I will give you a quick life update.

Last week, I was writing in my prayer journal and I flipped to a page from February of 2015. I had the following prayer requests written down… (ignore my kindergarten handwriting)

We were still living in Tulsa at the time, and My Hubs was finishing up his last few months of residency. All we knew at the time, was that he was going to work at a health clinic in a low-income neighborhood, and we felt like the Lord wanted us to live in that same neighborhood.

Looking back now, the timing of everything definitely didn’t go as I initially thought it would. Instead of a “yes” or “no” the Lord seemed to be saying, “Wait, wait, wait.” for quite awhile. But then, all the sudden in the last couple months, I’ve seen all these prayers answered, and each one above and beyond what I hoped they would be!

First, our house. When we looked and looked and looked for a house in Franklinton last year and couldn’t find much, we decided to wait for 9 months to rent a house based on some pictures we had seen. We literally had never set foot inside the house, we just hoped the pictures were semi-accurate and semi-recent! We also signed a two year lease on this unseen house!

So it wasn’t until the day we showed up to get the keys that we got to actually see whether the house looked anything like the pictures (which it does!) and what was behind all those doors in the pictures we had looked at for nine months (closets, they are all closets!).

The house is pretty neat and our kids are loving it. We all have our favorite things about the house, but here are a few of my favorites…

The Fridge.

Since we’ve been married, I have been taller than all of the refrigerators we’ve had in our apartments/houses. Not a big deal, but I’m LOVING the extra space in this bad boy. Also, ever since I was in elementary school I’ve always wanted a fridge with a water dispenser (I know, I know, big dreams over here) and now I have one…and it’s awesome!

Also, I’m kinda in love with the mudroom…

A place for shoes, and backpacks, and sunscreen, and umbrellas, and gloves, and hats, and just all that crazy stuff that 6 people bring into a house??!!??

Um. Yes please.

(note: clearly this is before we junkified it)

Second, I was praying for our oldest kiddo and school. We really wanted him to go to the local public school if possible. However, once we got here we found out that A) the elementary school we thought he would go to closed down and was combined with the middle school and B) the new combined school is considered by the state to be a failing school and has been failing for long enough that the state offers either bussing transportation to charter schools and/or financial assistance for private schools. So after talking to different people, as well as, just knowing our kiddo, we decided that it just wasn’t the best for him (at this point), to send him to the local public school.

After calling many schools and finding many classes were already full for next year, we were able to find a spot for him in a school about 15 minutes away. We are excited about it and feel like it will be a really great fit for him. Also, his brochacho will go to preschool across the hall from him, which they are both pretty stoked about.

Third, and if you read my note in my journal, you can see that I thought finding friends in the neighborhood, with a heart for the neighborhood would be really hard to find.

However, I was dead wrong. First of all, we have already met so many amazing people here. But one family in particular, who just so happens to have four kiddos the exact same ages as ours, have overlooked how weird we are, and have befriended us. We are so abundantly thankful for them and the wealth of information they have passed our way. Apparently, not as “outlandish” as I thought it would be.

Sooooo, that’s the big stuff with us. We are finally here. We aren’t sure what the Lord has for us yet, but luckily He is in charge of the details and we will just try and say, “yes” to what He brings along.

Oh, and there’s also a pretty strong Christian presence in the neighborhood, which as I’ve mentioned before, is great because we are all about serving and ministering to people as a TEAM. Honestly, we are kinda lame by ourselves.

Anyway, I know so so so many of you have prayed with us and for us, over the last year and a half, and we want to say thank you! We have definitely seen the Lord work and move in and around us.

One last thing, we are just three minutes off of I-70 if any of you want to come visit. (hint, hint)

Moving: The Final Countdown

 

Well folks, I can hardly believe it but after 9 months we are finally moving to Columbus this next week! We get the keys tomorrow, we have a truck ready to go for Saturday, and then later next week we will officially be sleeping in our new house (well, new to us)!

I’m. so. excited.

When we packed our boxes and loaded our truck last July, we only expected to be living with my in-laws for a few weeks, maybe a month or two. We were also in a pretty big hurry when we were packing, so we weren’t super thoughtful about where, um, we put everything.

All that to say, there’s A LOT of our stuff that I haven’t seen since last July. Whenever we can’t find something we just say, “Oh well, it’s in a box…somewhere!”

I’ve gotten along pretty well, but I decided this last week that there are three specific things that I can’t wait to find in our boxes.

Numero uno – I can’t wait to find my socks. When we moved last July, it was 95+ degrees every single day in Tulsa. I was NOT thinking about winter socks. I threw 5 or 6 pairs of athletic ankle socks in my suitcase to bring out to Ohio, and besides three longer pairs that I bought on sale, that’s what I wore all winter…and it was lame. Should I have just gone out and bought more socks when late December rolled around? Probably. But I did not. And thus I had cold ankles and lower legs all winter.

Numero dos – I can’t wait to use my own mugs. If you drink coffee or tea every morning, you probably have a favorite mug or two. Whether it’s because the handle fits your hand just right, or it holds just the right amount, or it just looks awesome and brings you warm feelings or memories, it’s your fav and you use it over and over again. I have been using my mother-in-laws mugs for the last nine months. Her mugs say “tea” all over them and I’ve been using them to drink my coffee each morning. …I probably don’t have to tell you, but something about that just doesn’t feel right.

Numero tres – I can’t wait to use my own bed sheets. A couple years ago, we needed new sheets and My Hubs used his birthday money to get us these nice bamboo sheets. They. Are. Awesome. Since then, there have only been a handful of nights that we haven’t crawled into bed and discussed how crazy amazing those sheets feel. I can’t wait to bust them out when we move.

The kids are also super excited to unpack all their books and toys.

You know how when kids get something new for their birthday or Christmas and you get at least 4 to 5 days of an eerily quiet house because they are off playing with their new toys?

Yeah, I love that too.

So, I think I am going to take my time unpacking their toys and try to keep that magic going as long as possible!

I’m also really looking forward to this next phase for us. I’m so excited to see what God has for us in the poor neighborhood that we will be moving into.

At the same time, if I’m honest, I’m also a little nervous about some things…

-I’m a little nervous to have all four kiddos at home ALL day, while simultaneously trying to homeschool the rest of the school year with my oldest two…

-I’m a little nervous to see just how “rough” this neighborhood really is…

-I’m a little nervous to look for churches with four little kiddos who aren’t exactly the most outgoing…

But ya know what?

I can worry about what I don’t know OR I can choose to look back and remember the faithfulness of the Lord throughout all the different transitions we’ve had thus far. Because truthfully, I can look back at every single move or transition and see God all over the small details and the big decisions.

So, I have no doubt that He will help me with my time management with the kiddos, give me a love and excitement to serve our neighbors, and help our family find a church.

Ten Simple Words that I’d Love to Hear from any Veteran Mom

A couple of months ago, I took all four of my kiddos to our small community library. The maximum amount of books we can check out is ten, so I told the older three kids that they could each choose three books to bring home. We walked around for a little bit and looked at the different books and after a few minutes each kiddo had chosen their books and so we headed up front to check out.

The sweet middle-aged woman who was checking out our books smiled at my kiddos and then turned to me and said, “Your kids are so respectful and well-behaved.” Then she rolled her eyes as she added, “I wish all the kids that come in here were that way, we get some really wild ones.”

I smiled and said, “Well thank you, although mine certainly have their wild times too.” Then we all said goodbye and headed out to the car.

During the twenty minutes in the car, I couldn’t stop thinking about that conversation with the librarian. While she was certainly well meaning in her compliment, I couldn’t fully accept the praise because I knew that by just changing one or two variables in the library, that it easily could have been my kids that she was rolling her eyes about. If I would have come merely 30 minutes closer to lunch time or an hour closer to nap time, my kids may have been the “wild ones,” throwing fits, running amuck, and screaming their heads off.

So while the compliment on my kid’s behavior was nice to hear, I couldn’t help but feel that there must be some better words for a veteran mom to encourage a younger mom. I thought about how there must be some words that could be said to encourage both a younger mother with kids running wild, as well as, a younger mother whose kids are politely obeying (at least for the moment). Words that could bring life to a mother in either situation, and yet, would be truthful for the one giving the encouragement.

I thought about this for a few days, and I came up with ten words that I truly think that every young mom would love to hear from a veteran mom…or at least I’d love to hear it! They are…

“Keep up the hard work mama! It is worth it!”

I get a smile on my face just picturing a veteran mom cheering on a younger mom with these ten simple words. Because they infer so much…

First, it is acknowledging to a younger mom that this parenting thing is hard…really hard! Young moms need to know that veteran moms struggle too! Because honestly, one glance at Pinterest and you think that everybody else has it all together. So, if a veteran mom, who is a few years ahead in parenting, acknowledges how hard it is, then it gives permission for a younger mom to feel the struggle and know that they are completely normal!

Second, it is acknowledging that this younger mom is currently doing-the-work, she’s literally in the midst of it, right this minute! I can’t even count how many young moms that I have talked to that have felt lonely and forgotten while their kiddos were little. Between naps and sick kids, it’s easy for a young mom’s interaction with other adults to be limited. By saying these ten words, a veteran mom is basically saying, “Hey girl, I see you! I see that you are tired! I see that you love that kiddo so much. This parenting stuff is important! You got this! Keep it up!” This might be just what that young mother needed to hear.

Third, you are acknowledging that motherhood is a sacrifice. Every mom knows that being a mom requires a lot of sacrifice, but sometimes young moms (especially), just need it to be verbally acknowledged. Then after that, they need to be reminded that not only are these kiddos “worth it” because they are made in God’s image and therefore have intrinsic value, but also that all that physical wear and tear of mothering is worth it. All that time spent reading the same book to your toddler over and over again is worth it. Spending the extra time to deal with your child’s heart rather than just correcting his/her outward behavior is worth it. Just being reminded that those often mundane and seemingly unimportant small things that a young mom is doing with their little ones now, will come to fruition later. That is something a veteran mom has actually seen and a way that she can encourage a younger mom who can only speculate how all this will matter later.

Fourth, it is acknowledging that you and this young mom are in the same club. All mothers are working through this stuff and not one of us have it all together. We may have kids that are different ages, live in different places, and parent differently, but we are all in this thing together.

I think THOSE are things that a young mama needs to hear! …whether she’s someone you see routinely or simply passing by in the grocery store.

So please, sweet veteran mama, when you see a young mama struggling to keep her composure when her little one is throwing a tantrum OR when you see a young mama with an especially obedient kiddo and want to praise her, just look her in the eyes, give her a big smile, and say these ten words…

“Keep up the hard work mama! It is worth it!”

Because they will be life giving, I promise.

 

(picture created at snappa.io)

My Favorite Recipe

Do you have a favorite recipe? You know, the one that you just made last week, so therefore, you should probably wait at least another week before making it again. However, you really just want to make it again…today! Yeah, that’s the one.

This last week I made my fav recipe, Kielbasa and Roasted Veggies. I actually hadn’t made it for a couple months because (and there may be real tears here) my wonderful in-laws, (whom we are currently living with) have just one flaw. They-don’t-like-kielbasa. Oh, I think a fairy died somewhere when I wrote those words! And what a tragic blow this is to my recipe repertoire!

I love kielbasa.

My Hubs loves likes kielbasa.

My kids love kielbasa…which they lovingly call “hotdogs” and well, yeah, they are a tiny bit similar. However, Kielbasa is 10 TIMES BETTER!

If you have lived near me for the last 3 to 4 years you will probably already know about this recipe. Because obviously I love it…and when I love something, I tend to tell everyone who will listen (or at least fake listen) about it, or in this case I just make it for them. If I brought you a meal in the last couple years, there’s a good chance it was this one (either that or my mexican lasagna which also rocks my face off).

If I were to be on my death bed and were given a last meal it would be…

Okay, it actually wouldn’t be this meal. I’d have to think about it more, but off the top of my head, it would probably be the filet mignon and veggies from Benihana’s. Wow…my mouth practically exploded from the awesomeness coming outta that place.

But…

For an everyday type of meal, this one tops my list!

And…

It’s great because it’s chopped full of veggies and has a shocking amount of flavor considering you only add salt and pepper. It’s also great because it can fit into all sorts of people’s diets.

Last year, I did Whole 30 for about…um…three days. (On day four, My Hubs came home with a free Bloomin’ Onion coupon from Outback and that was the end of that. Clearly, I am a very disciplined person). But this recipe with a few tweaks (changing the type of oil and the type of kielbasa I usually use) totally fit into the Whole 30 parameters! …and those are pretty small parameters!

All that to say, this is a great meal! So, if your regular winter meals (soup again?) have you in a rut, then try out this recipe. It may just change your life weekly meal planning!

Roasted Kielbasa and Veggies

Ingredients: (I double this for our family of 5.5 (baby is eating a ton yet))

-3 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 inch pieces

-1 large onion, cut into 1 inch pieces or diced up (I dice it up)

-1/2 of a one pound bag of baby carrots OR 4 medium carrots cut into 1 inch pieces

-2 Tablespoons olive oil

-1 pound kielbasa halved and cut into one inch pieces

-1 medium yellow squash cut into 1 inch pieces (no need to peel)

-1 medium zucchini cut into 1 inch pieces (no need to peel)

-1/4 tsp salt

-1/4 tsp pepper

Directions:

1) Preheat oven to 400.

2) Divide sweet potatoes, onions, and carrots between two greased baking sheets. (I use aluminum foil on my baking sheets for easy cleanup, but definitely spray them with A LOT of cooking spray or the veggies will stick!).

3) Drizzle with olive oil and put the pans in the oven for 25 minutes, stirring halfway through.

4) Remove pans from oven and add kielbasa, squash, and zucchini, then sprinkle with the salt and pepper and toss to mix it all up (add a little more oil if the veggies are sticking).

5) Put it back in the oven for 15-20 more minutes (stirring halfway through) or until veggies are tender.

6) Transfer to a serving bowl

*To shorten my prep time, I cut up the sweet potatoes, carrots, and onion first. While those are in the oven, I cut up the zucchini, squash, and kielbasa.*

**I usually use Hillshire Farm kielbasa but my sister-in-law found some at her local farmer’s market that she said was amazing! So, I’m always on the look out for other kinds.**

I hope you enjoy the awesomeness!! Especially those slightly browned sweet potato bites, oh baby! They are like little vegetable candy for the soul! 

 

(A version of this recipe was originally contributed to Taste of Home by Marietta Slater)

You’re a Good Good Father

I cried all the way home from the grocery store this morning.

My sweet mom sets aside her Tuesday mornings to go grocery shopping with me…and this morning I needed her more than usual. School was canceled for my oldest two, so I got to take all four kiddos to the grocery store. But that wasn’t why I was crying (although some days that would have done it). I needed my mom this morning to just listen to me, let me cry, hold my hand, and offer a couple thoughts just before getting out of the car.

On top of feeling like a really terrible mom lately, and knowing that I just need the Lord to save my children despite their mother’s hourly shortcomings; I’ve also had a heavy heart over two families that we know. One family just lost their oldest son this last week to illness at age 13 and the other a two year old girl who is still fighting for her little life.

Right after my dad died, my five day old little girl was hospitalized with bacterial meningitis. I missed my dad’s funeral because I was states away sitting in a hospital room holding my little one. I remember so vividly feeling carried through that time. So many people were praying for our family, so many people were heartbroken for us, and while I know the Lord Himself gave me strength, I also feel like He allowed others to carry some of the burden both physically and emotionally.

And I have felt it this week. I have felt heartbroken for these two families.

So while talking with my mom, the tears (and the snot) just started flowing. As I pulled up to her home, she took my hand and said, “You know Candace, there are a few good things about getting older. When your body starts to fall apart and your mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be, you absolutely know that you can’t do life in your own strength and that you need God’s.”

Then she squeezed my hand, said that she would be praying for me, and got out of the car.

I knew she was right.

I not only needed to ask God to give these families strength but I needed God’s strength too. …and a little bit of His perspective couldn’t hurt either!

So as I started the drive home, I began to preach truth to myself. By “preaching truth to myself” I mean that in my mind the song, “Eye of the Tiger” starts playing, and I go into Rocky Balboa mode and I start going over the things that I know to be true about God.

The first thing that came to my mind was that God is in control and has a plan. While I may not understand completely what He is doing in the lives of these families, I know that ultimately His plans are good and that I can trust Him. I thought about Psalm 24:1 that says, “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it, the world and all who live in it.”

I also know that God has shown us again and again in Scriptures that one of His purposes is to “Make His Name Great” and that we are supposed to “Make known among the nations what He has done!” And while this side of heaven we will never fully understand or make complete sense of all the struggle in our lives, I, personally can look back at this week and say that I’ve been completely blown away at how God glorifying these two families have been IN THE MIDST of their suffering. They have both truly made His Name Great through their faith, their attitudes, and their words. Not fake, but trusting in His character and resting in His strength!

Then while still preachin’ to myself…the next verse that came to my mind was Isaiah 55:9, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” But believing that truth and trusting Him in it is hard! So I prayed that I might “Trust in Him with all of me and stop relying on how I think the world should work.” (Proverbs 3:5 my paraphrase)

About that time, I looked in the rear view mirror at my four shockingly quiet kiddos, and I decided to turn on the radio for them. (Perhaps they saw my face and knew that I was in “Rocky” mode)

I turned on the radio and I listened to the first line of the song, and I just lost it (more tears and snot).

Oh, I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think you’re like

But I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night

And you tell me that you’re pleased

And that I’m never alone

~~~

You’re a Good, Good Father

It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are

And I’m loved by you

It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

And I started raising my hand to the heavens (no worries the other hand was still on the steering wheel) and I realized that sometimes, when preaching to myself, I get into the “Buck up Candace!” mentality and think things like “God’s in charge and you aren’t! Get over it and just trust Him!”

…But I forget the loving, gracious, gentle, Father that draws me in so that I want to follow Him.

Then the next part of the song says…

Oh, and I’ve seen many searching for answers far and wide

But I know we’re all searching

For answers only you provide

Cause you know just what we need

Before we say a word

~~~

You’re a Good, Good Father

It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are

And I’m loved by you

It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

~~~

Cause you are perfect in all of your ways

You are perfect in all of your ways

You are perfect in all of your ways to us

(Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin – Listen to it by clicking HERE)

Oh, what a sweet reminder that no matter what is going in life, my God doesn’t change.

He is, who He is, and therefore I know who I am!

And a Big part of Who He is…is a Good Father!

A Father who we can trust, even when it doesn’t all make sense. A Father in whom we can bring our concerns, our tears, our questions, and who holds the answers. A Father who loves these families and kiddos more than any of us. A Father who knows I’m going to mess up this parenting stuff a lot, but still gives grace and forgiveness. A Father who will let us carry each other’s burdens…even if just a little bit. And a Father who will give us His strength and perspective when we need it…which is always!

Capsule Wardrobe…Magnificent or Mistake?

As most of you know, back in the fall I put together a fall capsule wardrobe. To find out what that even means, as well as, why and how I put it together, click HERE. This post is mainly to give you an update on how it has worked out and to show you how I transitioned my fall capsule wardrobe into a winter capsule wardrobe.

First, I’m not lying here, making a capsule wardrobe may have been one of the best decisions of my adult life. Yes, it took some time and money (but not much!) on the front end, but then once I had my wardrobe set, it saved time and money on the back end.

Once my capsule wardrobe was set, I didn’t buy any clothes for myself for the entire fall season and I loved the clothes that I had. It was so much faster getting ready each day and for the first time in MANY years I felt that I could actually look “put together.”

Now I will say, that among the many many reasons that I’ve loved having a capsule wardrobe, there have been a couple drawbacks that I have found.

1) It was a slight inconvenience that my clothes were mostly limited to everyday clothes. Therefore, I didn’t have a ton of options for church or dressier occasions. So, if you have to dress up for work every day, I feel like you would almost need a work capsule wardrobe and an everyday capsule wardrobe (which is actually what my sister did). 

However, since I only have church once a week and I only had to dress up two other times, it worked out okay for me.

2) If you enjoy dressing for certain events, for example, if you like to wear red around Christmas or Valentine’s Day, you may find yourself a bit stuck. I own one red casual shirt and a dressier cranberry colored shirt. Normally no big deal, I hardly wear red at all. However, we had a Valentine’s Thing at church and I was kinda stuck with the cranberry shirt because it was pretty much all I had. 

Is this a big deal in the grand scheme of things? I would say no, but it depends on who you are. 

My Hubs even thought it was completely ridiculous that I thought I needed to wear a certain color. He was actually going to wear bright yellow pants, which I may or may not have talked him out of right before we left.

 But ya know what? 

If he went in yellow pants, we still would have had a great time, and it would NOT have been the end of the world. 

These ARE just clothes we are talking about people. 

So anyway, for three months, (October through December) with the exception of maybe twice, I stuck with my 39 articles of clothing. It was great! 

But by the time Christmas rolled around, I was ready to change it up a little bit. 

I decided that for my winter wardrobe (January through March), I was just going to pull out a few of my lighter shirts and cardigans from the fall wardrobe and replace them with a few thicker sweaters and vests. I didn’t need a total re-haul, I just needed to add a little spice to my life!

I got a few clothes ideas from jane.com and puttingmetogether.com. These websites are both great for helping me see what is trendy right now, and they give me ideas on how to wear the clothes that I already own!

To start off, I pulled out a few heavy sweaters from my stored away clothes bin, and since Christmas was coming up, I also found a few items that I really liked and I put them on my Christmas list for my family. …and lo and behold, I got a few!

Probably my favorite gift was this shirt here…

Pretty simple right?

I wanted it because A) it’s really soft and comfy and B) I knew it would match all my other clothes and add a little fun.

And it TOTALLY has! Here are a few new winter wardrobe outfits that I’ve been able to come up with wearing this shirt and adding a couple vests, scarves, and sweaters…I show you these because there’s an important point here…just because you may be a little bored of your clothes, it DOES NOT mean that you need to start all the way over! 

Sometimes, you just need one piece (like my checked shirt) to add life to your existing wardrobe!

As you see in the pictures, it’s not even the focal point of most of the outfits, but it just adds a little somethin’ somethin’…AND it’s always the first layer because I love how soft it is! 

I also discovered something wonderful this last fall and I added it to my winter wardrobe capsule. It basically defines what I want in all my clothes…Comfy AND Cute.

It is called…

The Cowl Neck Sweater

They are pretty popular, so I’m guessing a lot of you know about the awesomeness. But if not, let me tell you that…

It is basically the perfect article of clothing.

It feels as comfortable as a hooded sweatshirt, so I can wear it with my pajama pants at night. BUT I can also wear it with some jeans and boots, and look cute! 

I can add my sporty vest and hat and we can go hiking, or I can put on my dressier vest with a scarf and go out to dinner!It’s so versatile! …and did I mention comfy?

So basically, to transition from my fall capsule to my winter capsule, I just took out 8 articles of clothing and I added 8 articles (all of which were given to me, or I bought with Christmas or Birthday money).

I needed fewer shoes because I’m mainly wearing my two pairs of boots. Then, I added a couple vests, collared shirts, and thick sweaters.

It was just. that. easy.  ..and now I’m ready for another three months of cute outfits!

So, all in all, I would say the capsule wardrobes have been MAGNIFICENT! 

I love how much room I have in my closet, I love how simple it has made the clothes aspect of my life, and I love that it’s been fun, cheap, and that I no longer look disheveled and homeless…well at least most days. Ha!

I’m looking forward to seeing what I can do with my spring and summer clothes (which are always the toughest for me).

So, have any of you tried a capsule wardrobe?? 

Are you thinking about it but aren’t sold on it or have questions? I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions!